I get these sudden "urges" to make lists, ya know. Anyway I ran outta typing paper so i had to use this... (hey anybody know how to change the line-height on a Remington?)

So like, this is my feeble little attempt at expanding the English language by foisting my own personal collection of neologisms upon the world. C'mon, work with me on this.

a-allright   adj.

An unwitting substitution for "a-okay". My (ex-)girlfriend Ellen once told me about a female friend of hers who had decided to take up stage-acting. So picture this: opening night on her first performance ever, she's a bit edgy, a bit nervous, never been on stage before. A whole crowd of people in the auditorium. The lights go down, the play begins, and at some point the male lead turns to her and gives her her *first* cue of the evening, his line being something like: "So whaddya think? Does it look good?" In her head she's running over the script, trying to remember what her answer is supposed to be, and she answers "Yep. Everything's a-allright". Hmmm, I wonder if she's famous by now.

acatrab   n.

Same girlfriend. This was one of her words. "I was in an acatrab!" she would tell me. Means being in a tight situation, a predicament, a small dilemma or emergency.

allbody   n.

When she was little, my niece used to say this word instead of the word "everybody". I always thought it was cute. I've since been led to believe that it's somewhat common among young ones, but I'd never heard it before my niece came up with it.

blondaceous   adj.

Anything befitting blondes, appropriate for blondes, or evoking the blonde stereotype.

chesticles   n. (pl.)

um, actually this one I didn't make up: I heard the term circa 1980 on a late-night phone-in radio show, and it's stuck with me ever since. The word is intended to describe those unfortunate males who sport large flabs of fat hanging from their chests. If testicles are what hang below the waist, then chesticles seemed an apt appellation for those above. I guess "breasticles" might be an acceptable alternate. Or maybe not.

classola   n.

Is this one in common usage? It's usually framed in sudden exclamations like "Now THAT'S classola!!" ... and is intended to mean something with a lot of class, but sounds decidedly lower-class. Sorta like being forced to live with ochre-coloured stucco.

confusible   adj.

Something that is easily confused with something else.

fantabulous   adj.

This one's been around for a long time, so i don't even know if it should be on this list. It's a collision between the words "fantastic" and "fabulous", both of which have lost their original meaning, sadly.

frap   v.

An onomatopeia, from the French frapper, meaning to hit. Example: "I was frapped by the ball" or "I'll frap you over the head then".

funbone   n.

Keep 'em guessing when you use this term instead of the more common funnybone. "Here, this oughtta tickle your funbone."

futilitarian   n.

ahem, my pet word for those who believe nothing is worth doing. A position which seems to have had a resurgence in the last 20 years or so, and which could be described variously as defeatism, nihilism, universal pessimism, or "oh-woe-is-me-nothing-is-guaranteed-and-I'm-a-gen-x-er". Boo-hoo-hoo. Cue the world's smallest violin.  Pass the vomitory.

gorf   n.

I think I was about 10 when I realized that "frog", spelled backwards, produced this really funny-sounding word gorf. For weeks afterwards, my friends and I would go around saying things like "Ah, ya dumb gorf". We were so clever. We were sure of it.

gruntled   past p.

well, it's the opposite of disgruntled - we know that much. So would it mean 'pleasantly gruff'?

gutteratti   n.

opposite of glitteratti.

humbility   n.

For when you can't - for the life of you - remeber the word humility. Converse of next item.

humile   adj. - rhymes with smile

I spent a whole summer several years ago, totally unable to remember the word humble. I'd need the word in the middle of a conversation and, try as I might, the word just wouldn't come to me. So I'd try to backtrack and think to myself "Hmmm, now what's the noun for this quality? Okay, 'humility'. So the epithet would be... humile? No that can't be right." And I'd be stuck.

misgruntled   past p.

er, I guess this should mean "being pissed off at the wrong thing"...

niggle   v.

to persistently nag in small ways. "This niggles me".

niggly   adj.

something that nags you in small ways, but persistently, throughout the day.

peeps   n. (pl.)

I love this word. Internet lingo for "people".

poottie   adj.

My friend Rob used to use this word all the time. We never did figure out how it should be spelled though, so I'm just guessing here. Btw, it's a diss word: "... and that guy who always walks around with his poottie little gold chain."

Sort of suggests "pitiful" and "stupid", don't it? Oh yeah, and it's always followed by the word "little". Dem's the rules.

prettyful   adj.

Used to describe something when you suddenly realize that the thing is both pretty and beautiful, but in a fulsome way: pretty all over. It's a warm feeling. Really.

quozzy   adj.

All my life I've been fascinated by the unique sound you get when you take two empty drinking-glasses and suspend them tightly together between your thumb and forefinger, then with the other hand you separate their bottoms very slightly and let them bounce back against each other. I do this over and over again. And because I *still* have too much free time I had to invent a word to describe this wonderful sound. So there you go.

sickitating   gerund.

Haha! What a great word! Something that induces sickness. I'm writing this down on the fly - my young neighbour Ksenia just used it. It's so cool being a kid, innit?

stupendia   n.

a collection of stupendous, awe-inspiring things. We need words like this.

stupitude   n.

1. Stupidity is not a level of knowledge - it's an attitude. Some people have that attitude.
   
2. Stupidity is not only an attitude, sometimes it's also an aptitude. Some people have that aptitude. Okay, maybe it is a level of knowledge. Never mind.

swillicious   adj.

Has about as much attraction as drinking a full jug of swill on a hot summer's day. Didja ever do that? Mmmm, good! I think Jack London mentions something like this in People of the Abyss.

Also, we need a related word for that "evil surprise" that happens when you start drinking from a beer bottle without knowing there's a cigarette butt waiting at the bottom. Didja ever do that? I think the sensation on your tongue is indescribable.

weebit   n.

A unit of measurement in common use, but nobody really knows how big it is: "just move it over a weebit to the side there."

whoostle   n.

a wooden whistle. Figured we needed a word to describe that.

wibbly   adj.

My buddy Dave told me about this one. His 10-year-old foster son uses it to describe feeling nervous, edgy, antsy: "Uh-oh, Dad I'm feeling wibbly again."

Ummm, maybe it has something to do with having to go to the bathroom?